Celebrate Arbor Day

Dan Lambe’s Top Tree Jokes

By Dan Lambe | April 27, 2016

1.) What is a tree’s least favorite month?

Sept-TIMBER!   (You have to yell Timber)

2.) What kind of tree can you fit in your hand?

A Palm tree

3.) Why was the cat afraid of the tree?

Because of its bark

4.) What did the tree wear to the pool party?

Swimming trunks

5.) What did Luke Skywalker say to the tree on Arbor Day?

May the FOREST be with you!

6.) What is a tree’s favorite drink?

ROOT beer.

7.) How does a tree get onto the internet?

It logs on

8.) Why don’t trees like jokes?

They are afraid they will get stumped

9.) Why did the tree like to play chess?

Because it was a Chess-nut!

10.) What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started a new branch.

11.) What is a pirate’s favorite holiday?



Tell us a joke below!

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  • Reply Ed Macie April 27, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    Why doesn’t the squirrel live in a mountain oak tree (Quercus georgiana)

    Because it would rather go to the Beech!

    • Reply Debbie Haizlip April 28, 2016 at 9:04 pm

      That tree is so rude! He doesn’t say “goodbye” when he **leaves!**

  • Reply Judy Yi April 28, 2016 at 2:06 pm

    I’m stumped to add more, although tree jokes are very poplar! Thanks for the laughs (groans). Yew are acorny one!

  • Reply Dylan April 28, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    Why did the redwood grow taller than its peers?

    It had greater aspirations

  • Reply Debbie Haizlip April 28, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    Tree #1 : That tree is always loaded up with cash!
    Tree#2 : Yeah! He’s ever green..

  • Reply Meridith Perkins April 28, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    Why did the group of trees take a nap?


  • Reply Jack May 2, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    HAHA! I can’t believe I laughed so hard at these but I did. This is awesome that you all put this list together.

  • Reply Tom August 3, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    Two trees in a brush fire…

    Tree 1: “I think I’m going to die”
    Tree 2: “holy crap a talking tree”

  • Reply Trees September 12, 2016 at 7:11 pm

    What did the tree do when the bank closed?
    It started its own branch.

  • Reply Tom September 16, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    That was pretty good there trees! Do you have any other jokes?

  • Reply Brooke April 15, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    Love the tree and nature jokes and the sloth picture tops it off lol. Theres a tree riddle I want to share with you and your readers. Let me know if you guys figure it out on the first try: What Kind Of Tree Can You Carry In Your Hand

  • Reply Tucker Thomas September 25, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    What is a tree’s favorite wrestling move?
    A hemlock

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